The Village Wok...

Since last June, I have been working at the Village Wok. Some of you have eaten here or at least know about it - after all it's been around since the '70's. It has been/is an experience.

This was my interview:
"Can you work until 2am?"
"Yeah, totally"
"Alright, I'll call you tomorrow. You can start on Monday"
"Awesome"

Seriously. That was it.

My coworkers are pretty much always hilarious. There's Carlos, the Ecuadorian fry-cook who asks me to marry him at least 20-50 times every time we work together. There's Fran the buff-asian dude who's 45 but doesn't look a day over 28 and calls me a dumb bitch at least 20-50 times a shift, but then later buys a smoothie for us to share and sends me stupid "funny" fwd emails. There's Jose, the busboy (man) who speaks no English and I try desperately to understand him (when I don't and he laughs it makes me think he's saying something dirty, which he probably is). The list goes on and on... Needless to say, I come home with stories every night.
Such as:
There's a girl with huge tits at some table and I say to Jose in spanish, "You like those? The big ones?" He replies, "I like them all. And small ones, so I can fit them in my mouth." Wow. Okay then.
Or:
"Fran? What are you drinking?"
"It's your momma's pussy juice! I squeezed it last night..." He then proceeded to make a squeeky sound and a pinching motion.
And then:
Bang, the very tiny, very feisty cook, comes up to me and rubs my belly. "You have baby in there? Oh yeah, you need to eat! Eat lots of spicy food! Good for baby! When you due?"
"Bang! You're so mean! DO NOT call me fat!"
"Ha ha ha... when your baby due?! Ha ha ha!!!"
What a bitch...

I could keep going all day. Instead I'll save these tasty tid-bits.

Shit... I've Been Challenged...

Well, as a result of prodding from Hannah and Fuzzy, I will attempt to reveal deep secrets about myself/family/friends. Look out people. Ha. Just kidding.

1. I hate touching butter. But! (there's always a but) I put so much butter on my toast that sometimes it soaks through on to my hands perpetuating this horrible problem. mmm... butter
2. I have a serious weakness that I never knew about until I lived with Miss Sarah: I love soap operas. Especially All My Children, One Life to Live, and Passions (R.I.P.). I hate myself.
3. One day when I was about 5, my mother told me we were going to go camping and that I would have to go pee out side. This excited me. I drank glass after glass of apple juice upon hearing this news and proceeded to piss under the pine tree in my back yard every 15 minutes. I thought mom wasn't catching on... I was wrong.
4. I've never finished a crossword puzzle without the help of others (aka the internet). Because of this, I feel inferior. Wow. There's a lot of self-loathing going on here...
5. I fear that after a life time of living with dogs I'M DONE WITH THEM. The hairy toddlers (as the silver fox would call them) are just irritating and needy - I don't have time for this. Sorry pups, unless you're Romeo, run along.
6. At any given moment during a conversation with anyone, I could be imagining what they would be like in bed. I guess I don't even need to be having a conversation with them - just seeing them. Not necessarily in bed with me, but just in general. Ha ha, I'm a perv.

Okay, well, hopefully I haven't said too much.

P.S.

So, also, the past few wednesdays, Travis has finished off two different boxes of my cereal. So, he bought me some. And oh dear god am I glad that he ate all my cereal because otherwise I would have never been introduced to the glory that is Blueberry MuffinTops cereal. It has the texture and bite of Cinnamon Toast Crunch and the flavor of a Jiffy Blueberry Muffin. De-fucking-licious. mmm............

How I love Wednesdays...

For the past month or so, this crazy crew and I have been gettin' down on wednesdays... ha ha gettin' down... It's comforting to be with old solid friends. No drama, just a lot of beer and cigarettes. And now that the stoop is back in commission, it's only getting more pleasant.

Some highlights from last night:
1. Patrick humping Travis and then excusing this by saying that he has "strange thoughts"
2. Patrick's dirty moustache
3. Patrick saying, "wouldn't it be sweet if everyone were farmers?"

You can see where this is going... One of my favorite games to play with Patrick (or just one of my favorite games in general) is to ask Patrick to make faces of obscure, vague emotions/adjectives such as: elusive, apathetic, weary, etc. etc. Almost all the faces are the same. And they all make me laugh like fucking crazy. I cry. My stomach hurts. It's awesome.

I do look forward to hump day...

spring times...

This captures my mood quite nicely. At this moment I am more relieved than I have been in months. Though the landscape may be in a transitional state, at least I can go outside without feeling like killing someone. What this time of year also means is that I currently have about a month left of school. One motherfucking month. The worst month. Okay, I'm sorry... I realize the majority of my posts have involved how much I hate school and how much I want to die (hee hee) but whatever.

This is what spring means to me:
1) No more nose crusties
2) Twiterpation
3) My lovers coming home from their far, far away college lands (aka Jaime DeLanghe in Connecticut)
4) Michael Cahill gently rubbing my back... side haha oh and side boob area and nipple oo!

So. I have officially decided to take a year off of school. In this time of glorious freedom I shall try to come to terms with what exactly it is that I want. Whatever that is.... if there is a "that". Hmm. But I will be making clothes, art, and hopefully some sort of decision. Also, I will be trying to get a job at a vintage clothing store that I love: B-Squad. One day I would like to have a vintage store of my own and I need to learn the tricks of the trade. Any advice?

Continuing on my happy note (the note that has finally emerged from beneath the snow) I have started becoming excited about art again! Yay! I'll post pictures later. And I'm very proud of my very impressive artistic sister. She's graduating on the 17th of may. Holy shit. I actually am starting to feel old, which is ridiculous, but nonetheless true. I remember when Hannah and I used to fight over the front seat (which we still do by the way), hit each other out of sheer annoyance (oh wait, we still do that too...), and giggle for no reason whatsoever (fuck we still do that too!... okay I'm really not helping my feeling old argument).

Well anyway, here you go Hannah, Jaime and dad. Here's a post. Not very exciting. Whatever.